Uhg :/

It all started when I was sucking on Jalen's neck. Then I pulled away & shouted "Haha, you have a hickey!" but I was only joking. & he laughed it off. So I kept going & he enjoyed it, he didn't tell me to stop, so once he did get tired of it, he was like "Okay, enough." & when I pulled away, his skin was red. Then I was really like "Oh, baby look, you do have a hickey." & I smiled. & he's like "Oh." & C* goes "Ohhh, you gotta hickey." & it was all fun & games until I took a picture & showed it to him. Tell me why the child gets upset. :/

All I do is poor myself out to him & all he does is throw it back in my face. I wasn't doing this as a sexual gesture. It was more of an "i love you so much type thing" than anything. I always try to show how much I appreciate him & what do I get in return? A pissed off boyfriend. Lame, right. I know.

I was already kind of upset with the dilemma that I might have broken up with him. But he proved his sincerity, now THIS. He didn't even walk me back to my locker. & after I left my locker he didn't talk to me. So, I left & got on the bus. I figured it'd be pretty childish to not talk to him in the morning, but we'll see. It all depends on his behavior. I'm already fighting that "not getting the emotional spark (anymore)" thing. Siiiigh.

In other news, Monica A.* wouldn't accept my apology. How childish. Obviously, she doesn't care. So why should I? & I talked to Amber*; everything has been worked out. We're back speaking, but we are keeping distance.

Also, I'm interested in trying out for cheer-leading. (: But because of school standards, I may not be able to. I won't know until this afternoon. Peace.

[Edit: Mommy is doing fine, now! :D God is good.]

*names have been changed.

Some thoughts

There's no point in even trying to state an opinion toward my mom. There's also no point in trying to please people in order for them to like me. I'm also getting a "drawing away" vibe when in comes to me & my boyfriend. I love him with all my heart, I'm just not getting the typical excitement anymore. For example, when we kiss, its not as romantic as it was. & we've only been going out for six months. I guess the influence of other couples around me, breaking up is starting to take affect.

I'm also sick of everyone getting worked up over childish things. The thing between Amber & the Monicas have officially been squashed. Just now, when I tried to apologize to Monica A. she refused to talk to me, because of another incident that took place the other day.

But being black & being in the environment of black children, you witness immaturity of others who act as if they must fight, or prove their point by making smart remarks & acts of stuppidy. It's all dumb to me. So what if I caught an attitude with you? It's your fault for talking to me in the first place, when I obviously didn't feel like being bothered. You created that monster. There's the bell. Peace.